Civil Anger Management

So my oldest just moved into a new apartment. The apartment is around the corner from a beautiful new mosque. As a result, there are a large number of Muslims living in the complex. There are also a lot of ducks living at the complex, but i am pretty sure that is unrelated.

Anyway, i went to see her new apartment today. I had brought raspberry muffins that i had made, my daughter made eggs, and her fiance made coffee. We had brunch before we changed into swim clothes and headed for the complex pool. She had mentioned to me that there were usually a handful of women in burkinis there, so i was a little disappointed to see only one. I mean, i had never seen a burkini in real life before, and i was curious as to the practicality of it.

I will also add that my daughter has just been waiting for someone to mouth off to a woman in a burkini so that she could give them the what-for. I think she is almost disappointed that, so far, everyone seems to be getting along fine. Which is pretty cool considering the ones not covered head to toe pretty much are only 2 steps above naked. Today, my weedling was wearing a moderately sexy one piece, and i was wearing boys’ swim trunks and a bikini top. There were other women there in a variety of usual western swimwear (Including one woman wearing a black tank that read “Slay” in gold letters), many of us with tattoos, etc. A big contrast from the Muslim swimwear. In spite of this, there were no issues to be found, which according to my daughter is the norm, even when the mix is more balanced.  No one degrading anyone else.

Well, except for some under-the-breath cussing at the pre-teens who kept jumping in the water next to people who obviously didn’t want to be splashed. But that is likely more a unifying thing amongst the adults than a source of ignition.

It made me feel good to know that not only are there very few issues between the groups in daily life, but also that my daughter was willing and ready to come to the defense of someone so different from herself. Her sisterhood solidarity quotient is incredibly high.

It was the second time in a week that i had been impressed by a behavior like that.

I have a former science teacher (now a friend) who is very much a liberal-minded man and has a lot of issues with the current political administration. A few days ago, he was out to eat with his family at a favorite local place, when he finds himself in close quarters with the Speaker of the House and his family, also enjoying the good food.

Mind you, my teacher-friend is not alone in his views. I come from a very politically liberal area. It is not unfounded to believe that other than the Ryan family, it is likely that nearly everyone else in the restaurant would be Democrat.

And yet, instead of raising Cain, tearing into the politician, disrupting and potentially scaring the wife and children, giving himself heartburn from churning up bile so soon after a meal, or otherwise causing a ruckus; my friend and the community remained polite and allowed the family to eat in peace. My hometown largely disagrees with the Speaker, so i wouldn’t be surprised if he was handed some napkin notes on his way out, but that is unobtrusive compared to some of the behavior that has been given to our government officials as of late. I am proud of my community that they chose to wait for another time and place before letting loose with venom.

There has been instigation on both sides of the political aisle to create disturbance at every corner. Tho i understand the urgency, i feel it takes away from the cause itself. It creates new arguments on decency and common courtesy, instead of focusing all the energy on the initial issue. If enough people contact their representatives within the contexts of emails, meetings, petitions, and respectful statements, the representatives will either listen or be voted out of office. But if we yell and scream at him while he is feeding his child an ice cream cone, we look like the bad guy and our message gets lost.

We are all angry at the current state of affairs. I’ve yet to talk to a single person who is totally satisfied with our government. But being a hothead about it is like yelling at a teenager – All it does is make the teenager yell back. The problem itself never gets solved.

But if we are able to stand in our bikinis and defend the rights of those in burkinis, firmly but civilly, things will be forced to change. If we can come face to face with someone who is our political opposite, and instead of chewing them a new one right then, say, “Enjoy dinner with your family! And i would love a word with you at another time.” If we can show respect – or at least civility and common courtesy – to people we disagree with, there is nothing we can’t accomplish.

Because, lets face it, not calling a duck a duck, or a schmuck a schmuck, takes incredible strength and tenacity. That kind of restraint is a superpower. Enough of those superheroes, and we can fix it all.


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